Andromeda |
Trance Tales |
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Andromeda |
Trance Tales |
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Trance Tales |
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Trance and the BartenderDylan got caught up ferrying refugees to a new planet and he needed to make some extra room on the Andromeda. So he asked Trance to spend some time on a local drift until he finished the task of moving the refugees. "But this drift has very little food," Trance pointed out. "What will I eat?""Well, just ask the local business people to share their complimentary fruit with you," Dylan said after thinking about her dilemma for a while. So, Andromeda took off and Trance settled into the drift. When she got hungry she went down to the promenade to beg for food. But, being the Cosmically Terrifying Babe that she was, as soon as Trance approached any of the stores, they would close up shop. The only shop which didn't close down was a bar. So Trance walked into the bar and asked the bartender if he had any fruit. "Nope," he said. "Just booze." So Trance went back to her room and sulked. When she got hungrier she went back to the bar. "Have you got any fruit?" she asked. "No," the bartender said. "We don't have any fruit." Trance left again. The next morning she woke up really hungry, so she went back to the bar and asked the bartender if he had any fruit. "I told you yesterday," he said. "We don't have any fruit." Trance left the bar and wandered around the promenade. Later in the day she got tired of being hungry and went back to the bar. "Do you have any fruit?" she asked. Now the bartender got really angry. He threw his hands up in disgust and yelled, "NO! We don't have any fruit! And if you ask me that again, I'll nail your feet to the floor!" So Trance went back to her room and tried to forget how hungry she was by sleeping. In the morning, when she woke up, Trance was really starving. So she went back to the bar and asked the bartender, "Do you have any nails?" "No," he said with a deep sigh. "Good. Do you have any fruit?" Trance's One True LoveOnce upon a time Trance Gemini was purple. She was beautiful. Gorgeous. Cute. A dream. Perfect to a "T".And then she met a fish. So, she took the fish with her back to Andromeda and Rev Bem said, "Oh, Trance, how nice of you to bring me dinner." "Oh, but this isn't dinner, Rev," Trance replied. "This is my one true love." "One true love?" Rev replied skeptically. "Trance, it's a fish." "Yes, but he's a very smart fish," Trance said. "He reads a lot and he is very, very polite." "But he doesn't do anything," Rev pointed out. "He breathes water and takes up space." "Well, he COULD do something if he were more of a humanoid," Trance said with a thoughtful expression. "Couldn't you ask the entity from the abyss to turn him into one?" "Well, it's not like we're on speaking terms or anything," Rev Bem replied. "But I suppose that if you are going to be in love with a fish, we could bargain with the devil and see what happens." So, Rev called up the entity from the abyss, who looked at the fish, and ate it. "That didn't work out well at all," Trance said as she sat sobbing. Rev tried to comfort her as best he could. "Perhaps not," he said. "But look at the bright side." "What bright side? My fish is someone else's dinner!" "True. But at least now you'll never catch him cheating on you with another fish."
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