Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda

Dylan Hunt Stories and Jokes

Rommie's Sensors

One day, Dylan decided to take Rommie's sensors offline so Harper could do some routine maintenance on them. Dylan ordered Beka to establish a routine orbit around a small star system and then he went to get some rest.

After a couple of hours, Harper announced that some of the sensor systems might be operational again. Tyr called up a tactical chart to test the sensors.

"Andromeda," he said, "What is that small object in our path?"

"It could be a freighter," Andromeda replied. "Or an asteroid. Or a baseball cap. It's hard to say."

Beka flipped on a comm channel. "Attention unidentified object," she radioed ahead. "You must alter your course immediately. We are on a collision heading."

After a few seconds of static, a thin voice came back over the comm channel. "We cannot comply. Alter YOUR course."

Beka and Tyr exchanged surprised looks. "Unidentified object," Beka said patiently. "This is the Andromeda Ascendant. We are the pride of the High Guard Fleet. We have enough firepower to blow a small fleet of frigates out of the sky. You WILL alter your course immediately!"

A few seconds of static passed by and then the thin voice came back on the comm channel. "Andromeda Ascendant. We are the fourth planet in this star system. Your call."

Dylan, Trance, and Tyr go fishing

One day, Dylan wanted to take a break from rebuilding the Systems Commonwealth, so he decided to go fishing. Tyr and Trance thought the idea was so cool they asked if they could join him. So, Dylan ordered Rommie to drop them off at a resort planet in an out-of-the-way system.

In no time at all, the three adventurers found a small lake where they rented a boat, some fishing rods, and bait. They rowed out into the middle of the lake and started setting their lines.

"Oh no!" Dylan said suddenly.

"What's the matter, Dylan?" Trance asked.

"We forgot to bring anything to eat!" Dylan replied. "It's almost lunch time and I'm getting hungry."

"No problem!" Trance said with a big smile. "I saw a cute little restaurant on the shore. I'll just go get us some sandwiches." And with that, she jumped over the side of the boat, walking away across the lake with little splashes, swishing her tail behind her.

Dylan and Tyr looked at each other in astonishment. Tyr's mouth dropped open as he watched Trance trot up to the shore. Dylan looked over the side of the boat.

A few minutes later, Trance came splashing back across the lake with a basket full of food. After Dylan helped her into the boat, he slapped his forehead.

"What was I thinking?" he said. "We'll be thirsty. I'll go get us some drinks."

And with that, he jumped over the side of the boat, landed on his two feet with a splash, and started walking across the lake toward the shore. Tyr stared after Dylan in total amazement.

A while later, Dylan came splashing back toward the boat. After Dylan had climbed in, Tyr said, "You know, we'll probably want some napkins. I'll go get some."

And with that, he leaped over the side of the boat.

With a huge KER-SPLASH!, Tyr fell into the water. Dylan immediately leaned over the side of the boat and said, "I'm sorry, Tyr! I should have told you about the rocks!"

And Trance chimed in, "Dylan, what rocks?"

Dylan and Rev Bem go camping

One day aboard the Andromeda, Dylan decided that it would be good for Rev Bem to learn some military survival techniques. So Dylan had the Andromeda put them down on a deserted planet. For the next two weeks Dylan and Rev wandered across the landscape, fighting monsters, scrounging for food, and just having a good old time in the wide open outdoors.

Then, one night, as they lay in their camp resting, Rev Bem cleared his throat. "Dylan," he said thoughtfully. "Would you look up and tell me what you see?"

Guessing that Rev was in one of his philosophical moods, Dylan decided to humor the old Magog. So, he stared upwards and replied, "I see stars, Rev. Billions and billions of stars."

"Uh, huh," Rev said in turn. "And what does that tell you?"

Dylan considered the question for a moment and he finally said wistfully, "Well, it tells me that the universe is a large place, and that we are just two small individuals in the hands of the Divine."

Rev just sort of shrugged and said, "Oh."

Realizing this wasn't the answer Rev was seeking, Dylan gave it some more thought. And as he looked around at the night sky, he said, "And it also tells me that we are just dwarfed by the immense beauty of the universe, and that we should be more appreciative of it."

"I see," said Rev Bem.

Well, realizing he still wasn't giving the right answer, Dylan rolled over and looked Rev Bem squarely in the eye. "And what does it tell you, Rev?" he asked.

"It tells me that we are not alone on this planet," Rev answered.

"How is that?" Dylan asked curiously.

"Because someone has stolen our tent!" Rev replied. And he rolled over and went to sleep.

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